haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
