Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Just invented taco cereal.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
