Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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