His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
