his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize