I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
