every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
OPIZZABONMYDICK
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
