when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
We named our party play list daddy issues
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
my shit smells like andre
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
