I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
