he told me I talked like a deaf person
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
