I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
