I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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