When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
