so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize
