I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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