Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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