Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
