I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
