I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
