You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
