he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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