in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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