so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
