no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
