I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
