watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize