i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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