For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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