Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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