Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
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