Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
