Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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