I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
He passed out mid-signature
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
