If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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