STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
