Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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