This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
