I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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