Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
