Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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