Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
