You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
