She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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