I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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