The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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