I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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