It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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