The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
