when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
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