we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
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it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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