my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Randomize
