like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
