yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
