what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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