There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
