I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
